Shipping Policy
Shipping: This is pretty simple; it means delivering
your stuff with alacrity. The quicker or further away you are, the more it
costs. Most Customers select between UPS (United Parcel
Service) and USPS (United States Post
Office). However, a few customers request SDS
(Specialized Delivery Service).
The UPS truck runs around 5:00 PM so stuff ordered by 2:00
PM usually gets processed and shipped the same day with service choices ranging
from Ground to Next Day.
The USPS truck runs noon-ish so orders placed before 9:00 AM
may get processed and shipped the same day, but mostly the next day. USPS
service choices include 1st Class, Priority, and Express.
The SDS is tailored for those impatient souls, whom are
very well heeled. Service choices include Commercial, Private, and
Orbital. Basically, if you throw enough mony at us we'll dispatch
someone via Commercial air travel to effect your delivery. Throw more than
enough money at us and we'll use a private aircraft instead.
Clientele, for whom our $50 million orbital delivery fee
via rocketship is worth every penny, recognize our real reason for locating
near the Kennedy Launch Center has nothing to do with scurilous rumors
regarding January's 70°F average temperature. Please note ours fee includes $20
million for handling, recovery, and local delivery, but not the
additional 15% for insurance. Tips are, of course, at your
discretion.